Man Is Not A Bird: Yes, There’s a Gander Who Watches Movies

The movies Freddie enjoys watching would surprise you. Sometimes, late at night, I grab the chance to watch a movie before bed. I’m lucky if I can stay awake. If Freddie’s in the room that night, I have to be even more selective.

Freddie has to have everything his way.

Freddie watching Dušan Makavejev films which he can't seem to take a break from. It's like Mystery Ex-Yu Theater Freddie 3000.
Freddie watching Dušan Makavejev films which he can’t seem to take a break from. It’s like Freddie Ex-Yu Theater 3000.

If Freddie doesn’t like my movie choice, then he screams. Have you heard a goose scream? Not just the husky honk of a Toulouse or an Embden, but the shriek of an upset Chinese swan goose who claims he was Freddie Mercury in his past life?

I change the movie.

Breaking Bad. War of the Roses. Rocky.

unnamed (7)Out of the question. Freddie is particular. He doesn’t like confrontations. People can’t yell at each other, push, shove, punch or appear as if they are standing there on-screen looking directly at him.

He gets Goosietude!

On the other hand, he surprises me sometimes. Quite the fan of David Attenborough, as can be expected, it interests me that he became so engrossed in a collection of films I checked out from the library called Free Radical, Eclipse Series 18, The Criterion Collection, short films by Dušan Makavejev. Known for revolutionary work during the sixties that pushed the boundaries of the film world, Dušan Makavejev seems an odd candidate for Freddie to favorite. Dark, raucous films with odd and shocking imagery, he remained glued to the screen and I drifted off to sleep not having the chance to watch much of the third film in the collection, Innocence Unprotected.

And would you believe the first film on the disc is titled Man Is Not A Bird? I kid you not. How strange is that?

These films are memorable and I plan to find them again when I have time to examine them further. For the second film in the set,, describes as such:


Dušan Makavejev 1967

This story of the tragic romance between a young telephonist (Eva Ras) and a middle-aged rodent sanitation specialist (Slobodan Aligrudic) in Belgrade is an endlessly surprising, time-shifting exploration of love and freedom.

Never a dull moment with Freddie the Rock God Gander around.

Betti’s Lumpectomy: Surgery to Remove Growth on 11-Year-Old Rottweiler

Betti enjoying a summer day on the grass, 2014.
Betti enjoying a summer day on the grass, 2014.

This morning I dropped my dog off at the veterinarian to have a melanoma-type lump removed from her side. Right now I’m waiting to call and see how she’s doing (in the next half hour). These things are always stressful. The lump will be tested for cancer as she has another internal lump on her chest below her neck. If only our pets could live longer.

My little Betti Boo is 11 years old as of July 2014. When I found her she was 14 months old. I can’t say I recall exactly how I found her, but I was looking for a young rescue rottweiler at the time. Someone had referred me to a breeder of German rottweilers who had a couple of dogs that were unwanted. The story went that Betti had been purchased for $1300 and then the people who bought her kept her outside, unsocialized and didn’t care for her health well. This was obvious. My late boyfriend Au and I drove across Washington State, starting out early morning and taking a route from east to west traveling north and then through a high mountain pass near the Canada border called Highway 20. Our destination was a tiny town in the west foothills of the North Cascades mountains called Sedro Woolley.

How could we resist Betti's adorable face? This photo was taken in 2004 when Betti was 14 months old and we'd just brought her home.
How could we resist Betti’s adorable face? This photo was taken in 2004 when Betti was 14 months old and we’d just brought her home.

When we arrived and first saw Betti, she was so pitiful: ribcage showing, timid as a wild animal and she had a terrible smell coming from her body somewhere. The smell so raunchy it made me want to gag. But, I knew she couldn’t stay like this no matter what her true story was. We put her in the car where she hunkered in the corner, so rigid her body stood erect as if she were a person sitting in the back seat, leaning against the armrest in the door. She stayed like that all the way home, though we stopped in Seattle to get her a collar and leash seeing as how she was so skittish we were afraid she would bolt if we opened the door.

We went right home that evening. Just one round trip around Washington. At first Betti was afraid of everything and she leaked urine a lot. We introduced her to our two older dogs, Greta and Lou, and she tried to play with them, though Greta was quite grumpy. I quickly enrolled Betti in socialization classes, because she was special needs. I remember the dog trainer telling me that as timid as Betti was, she could see a prima donna in there waiting to come out. I didn’t see that yet.

Each time I left the house, my boyfriend had to pick Betti up and carry her to the car. When I came home, he had to carry her from the car into the house. If we went to the veterinarian, she had to be carried from the car to the inside and vice versa. Otherwise she would hunker in a corner and tremble. Many veterinary visits were necessary to treat her and her illnesses took around two years to diagnose and cure. A lot of her trouble was due to malnutrition. She also suffered from crystals in her urine and urinary incontinence, which finally cleared up. At first I thought she was difficult to house train. Her ears were infected with yeast. Poor little girl.

My old girl, Greta who passed away at 9 years old of osteosarcoma.
My old girl, Greta, who passed away at 9 years old of osteosarcoma.

One time I took her for a walk along the paved Centennial Trail. We were not three hundred feet from the car down the trail when Betti decided to lie down on the pavement and refuse to move. I remember thinking, O crap! What on earth am I going to do now? Even though she was still only about sixty-five pounds (she was probably fifty-something when we got her) and not completely well yet, I couldn’t lift her. I imagined we’d be standing there for hours. I had to think of something.

The idea came to me that perhaps she didn’t feel safe on the concrete as the path was raised up and I could see how an animal would find that exposure intimidating, so I beckoned her down into a grassy ditch along the trail and voila!, we were on our way back to the car.

Everywhere we went those first few months many people would comment or stop us to ask what was wrong with her and I’d repeat the story of how she was rescued malnourished and ill. She was so skinny and timid. But both the dog trainers and I came to the conclusion that she hadn’t been abused, only neglected.

Not long after we welcomed her that fall of 2004, Miss Betti’s prima donna emerged, indeed. By that spring of 2005, she was a sneaky butt pincher and wanted to play. When we took her swimming she dog paddled, her front feet chopping too high above the water and a desperate look in her eye. Betti, you’re not doing it right. 

Lou, our rottweiler/lab, who passed away at 9 years old, one month before Greta, of unknown causes. It was a case where he was lying dead in the hallway when I woke up one morning in September, 2005.
Lou, our rottweiler/lab, who passed away at 9 years old, one month before Greta, of unknown causes. It was a case where he was lying dead in the hallway when I woke up one morning in September, 2005.

In the wee hours of the morning when we were camping at Noisy Creek, I awoke to find Betti–her first camping trip–sitting up and listening silently at the wilderness sounds. A bird I hadn’t noticed before called out, “Sheeeeeeeeeeee-did-it!” Each time the bird sang, Betti’s head jerked toward me and she looked right at me as if to say, “What’s that, mom?” The bird would call out again and she would repeat that same stare. So we sat there in the tent for quite a while, listening and looking at each other in silence. A bonding moment.

Several years ago I was sleeping in the basement where there was a big coffee table. Betti was halfway under it, snoring. In the middle of the night she must have kicked an easel that was against the wall causing it to fall and startle her so that she jumped up, but the coffee table stopped her. She cried out. That morning she couldn’t make the stairs. That day her hind end gave out. I was terrified. She’d injured her spine.

For several weeks I used a towel wrapped around her flanks to help her walk up and down the stairs and outside to potty. This gave her back time to heal. A lot of rest and help with mobility did the trick. While she has been stiff ever since, she’s never relapsed and I help her in and out of the car.

Rottweilers live to be 9 years old on average. Both of my old rottweilers I had in 2004, Greta and Lou, died when they were 9–one from osteosarcoma and the other from an unknown cause. I tell myself Betti has had a good life and that she’s lucky to be 11 and to not have suffered that many ailments during her lifetime. She’s a good girl and we’ve laughed and traveled a lot together, though in recent years I haven’t done a fraction of the activities I’d envisioned sharing with my dogs. Sometimes this eats at me, but I try to stay positive.

In ten minutes I will make that phone call to see how surgery went.



Ah, having a lumpectomy is hard for a 77-year-old lass.
Ah, having a lumpectomy is hard for a 77-year-old lass.
"Yes, I am still a bit stoned from the anaesthesia."
“Yes, I am still a bit stoned from the anaesthesia.”

Betti’s back. Surgery went well. Vet said he took part of her mammary gland and that the lump was next to a vein. She has a small suture site from the incision, which the vet said has three suture layers, on her tummy and a red bandage wrapped around her foreleg where her IV came out. Her urine came back clear (she had a lot of blood in her urine a few weeks ago and received antibiotics for that). For an 11-year-old dog, let’s see–that’s 77 in dog years–she did fabulous. Now we wait for the biopsy of her tumor to come back.

Good job, Betti Boo.

Do your pets have nicknames? If so, what are they? Please share in comments below.

Betti’s nicknames are Betti Boo, Boober, Boob-A-Bub, The Little Thing, Snuffleupagus, Little Betti, Betti Grable and The Triple (or Quadruple) Nipple.

Can Anybody Find a Gander Somebody to Love?

“I am as gay as a daffodil, dear.” — Freddie Mercury

freddiegoosegenuineFreddie, the gander, is as sweet as can be. He’s meticulous about his performances and his appearance. No one can ruffle his feathers, so to speak. I’ve seen him trip on several occasions, sometimes in the mud while getting in or out of his porcelain bathtub, or while too busy showing off to notice the goofus dog lying on the floor in front of him. But he always bounces back quickly and as if it was all part of the show. You’d hardly know he stumbled and in a few minutes you’d be wondering if you’d seen him stumble at all.

Lately, around this something of a substitute Garden Lodge Freddie lives at during his current reincarnation as a goose, the question of whether or not he prefers men or women has come up. At a random moment of morning in the living room I asked my roommate E. to get down on the floor like he’s a goose and let’s see if Freddie is interested.

“No way!” E. Said.

I don’t blame him at all. We’ve already seen enough to establish Freddie’s prowess is directed toward men. Not ducks. Not other geese. Mostly, a certain young man named E. who doesn’t fit the profile of men the late Freddie Mercury found attractive. E. doesn’t ride a motorcycle or have a mustache and clean cut, short dark hair like Jim Hutton. Nope. E. is young and slender with long blondish hair.

Freddie doesn’t care. Last spring he made it a habit to spring into action on nights when E. came home late from work and Freddie and I were in our basement room listening to Queen. Freddie’s favorite activity to date is serenading E. to the song “Body Language”. E. would sit at the bottom of the stairs while Freddie strutted back and forth, arching his neck and his tail at the same time so his little white bum became rounded and he appeared taller as he flirted.

But finally Freddie approached E. a bit too close for comfort, acting as if E.’s knee was a step up to his lap. As he attempted to climb E., Freddie extended one wing and when E. wiggled to get away, Freddie let out an annoyed, “Uuuuuuhhh! Uuuuuuhhh!” sound, which in Freddie-goose means, “Come back here, darling!”

Mary Austin is reported as having told Freddie from the start, at the point when he first approached her after their extended relationship to tell her he was bi, that he was gay, as quoted here in an article from the UK’s Daily Mail:

Gazing down at her lap, Mary says softly: ‘I’ll never forget that moment. Being a bit naive, it had taken me a while to realise the truth. Afterwards he felt good about having finally told me he was bisexual. Although I do remember saying to him at the time, “No Freddie, I don’t think you are bisexual. I think you are gay.”’

Read more:

freddiegooseNeither E., I or Freddie care whether or not he’s attracted to men, women or ducks, actually. We were just curious what he’d do when faced with choices. As a gander he definitely prefers E. over anyone else in the room. Perhaps that will change from time to time. I doubt anyone will let him go very far.

That having been said, Freddie may be a bit lonely at times, I think. When he stays the night in the house and wakes up in the morning, he spends a good deal of time looking at himself in the mirror. I wonder if he’s reflecting on the lyrics to “Somebody to Love”.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Each mornin’ I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believin’ you
But I just can’t get no relief, Lord

Read more: Queen – Somebody To Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics


Freddie’s Goosestache

Freddie likes this mustache best. It was drawn on paper with a Sharpie and balanced on his nose. He says the airbrush tool makes him look like he has a caterpillar under his nose.

Freddie would like me to stop using the GIMP airbrush tool to fill in his mustache. His exact words were:

“I reckon it…it…makes me look like I have a caterpillar on my face, dear.”

He’s right. I admit to noticing this, but I posted the photos anyway. (See November 2nds blog, “A Trinket For Freddie”.)

Have you ever seen a woolly bear caterpillar–the orange and black striped kind? I don’t know if that’s what they’re actually called, but we have them here in the northwest United States (Spokane, Washington) and I used to collect them when I was a child. Fascinated by their beauty–the way they moved, their multiple little feet, shiny black face that reminded me of a cab-over semi truck–I would watch them climb from one of my tiny hands to the other.

(See, this is part of why blogging is so great!) —> One sits down and begins writing, not knowing what facts will be learned or what direction one will take. Despite having fooled around with woolly bear caterpillars for years, I never saw which butterfly they turned into. Now, I know that they are Pyrrhantica isabella also known as Isabella Tiger Moths. According to “Weekends in Paradelle”, a WordPress neighbor of mine, the measurement of the orangish-brown bands on the woolly bear caterpillar indicate whether a winter will be harsh or mild:

“The lore is that the wider that middle brown section is (i.e., the more brown segments there are), the milder the coming winter will be. Conversely, a narrow brown band is said to predict a harsh winter.”

This reminds me of something my parents would have found in the old Farmer’s Almanacs we had lying around during the seventies. In fact, I vaguely recall something being said about the caterpillars and the weather, but time is always passing and so my memory grows foggier.

Another reason to blog and journal and keep lists and just write stuff down. I always thought my mind particularly sharp. I’ll never forget any of this, I thought as my grandparents retold stories to me.

Hah! Right.

For many tales I wonder these days if I wouldn’t find my imagination has filled in details where there were none.

So, back to Freddie’s mustache.

Ah, yes. Caterpillar.
Ah, yes. Caterpillar.

I asked him in the beginning if he would like to have a mustache, since Freddie Mercury’s mustache is like a trademark, and Freddie agreed that a mustache lends character.

“Otherwise I will look like any old gander,” he said. “I mean, if you want to see a gander, just look on the Internet these days or visit a farm. There I am. That’s not me.”

There isn’t a way for Freddie to have a real mustache as geese don’t grow facial hair. Since his bird features are far different from when he was human, there’s no way for him to wear a fake mustache. Options are limited to modern graphic design.

“I studied graphic arts at Ealing College, you know.”

(Sometimes I have to reassure Freddie that I know and that I respect that he was once not only human, but a rock GOD.)

I tell him, “Freddie, I am like P. or M. were in your former life. I care what you eat and whether your gifts are personal. I pay attention.”

Still, he’s not so sure. And if I showed Freddie a woolly bear caterpillar he would probably react the way he did to Michael Jackson’s llama in the recording studio, so I don’t even go there.

I can hear him now, saying: They’re not woolly at all. Just prickly bastards. 

"Please do this one over, darling. It's a disgrace!"
“Please do this one over, darling. It’s a disgrace!”

So I won’t bother asking. And let’s not tell Freddie what Uncyclopedia says:

“In addition, it has recently been discovered that his moustache was home to several species of endangered animals.”

Or that, according to, “it was generally agreed a woman could get pregnant just being in the same room as his mustache.”

Freddie’s last word on the matter:

“Darling, I am a gander. Why ever would I need a lip warmer in this lifetime? That just doesn’t make a bit of sense now, does it? You think?”

A Trinket For Freddie

Freddie and his statue from Rare & Retro Vintage.
Freddie and his statue from Rare & Retro Vintage.

Last month I decided to meander local antique stores as I have not done in years. Along with many other joys in life I’d left behind for nearly a decade, antiquing seemed a pleasure of the past. After a rather quick reintroduction, I caught up with the current antique shop scene in the city of Spokane, Washington where I live. While I’m not in the market for anything extravagant, I can’t say I won’t begin collecting in the future. Not only do I adore the sturdiness of real wood, but the intricate carvings and stately styles of furniture of bygone eras blanket a room in such a way that feelings are evoked from all who enter. People may not discover these feelings right away, but they will know something is happening, because words will escape their mouths. Statements like, “You never know what to expect in these neighborhoods. When I walked inside I thought, Wow, this is a nice house!”

Indeed, last month is when I decided to put almost all my contemporary furnishings up for sale on Craigslist and replace them with either older pieces or styles that fit my personality. Previous furniture had been chosen to accommodate other folks who resided in my home for a good number of years, but the furniture was not only wrong for the period of the house (1938), but bulky and dark and just blah. I called the brown micro-fiber sectional “The Giant Turd”, if that gives you any idea. And I said that once “The Giant Turd” was gone, it was as if the house was no longer constipated.

This is true. I chose furniture with legs. This way I can sweep beneath the furniture easily. Height, not width, is fashionable in a house like this in which the living room is small and square, with a fireplace, and of a pre-television design. The only other item I long for is an antique upright piano, but there just isn’t room in here.

While window shopping antique shops, there were a couple of things I looked for. 1. salt and pepper shakers, 2. lamps, 3. coasters, 4. anything that caught my eye. After many hours I found salt and pepper shakers: petite, orangish-opalescent shakers made in Japan. Simple. Elegant. Perfect.

Lamps, I have not found.

Freddie likes his "things". This painting I found at the feed store on sale for $5. It's perfect for Freddie. He's very proud that even the feed store knows who he is.
Freddie likes his “things”. This painting I found at the feed store on sale for $5. It’s perfect for Freddie. He’s very proud that even the feed store knows who he is.

The other item I came across was at a friendly little 1,600 sq ft store called Rare and Retro Vintage at 27 West Indiana Avenue. The store only opened on May 2, 2014, but I was impressed with the layout, prices and inventory. Not only did I find a set of glass coasters, hand-painted and made in Japan, but a light turquoise, glaze statue, about five inches tall, of a woman in a long dress, her arms spread out with the arms of the dress like wings. When I laid eyes on this piece, I knew it probably wasn’t something expensive, but struck a chord, nonetheless, reminding me of Freddie Mercury’s love of astrological symbols, The Virgin for Virgo is his birth sign, and the white blouse he would wear on stage during the seventies with the arms just like that on the statue.

This is so Freddie, was my thought.

So I purchased this little statue and the coasters and went home.

That evening I brought Freddie Goose in the house so he could prance around the living room and do his entertainment bit that he enjoys. By that time I’d refurnished the living room, so Freddie had some studying to keep him occupied while I unwrapped and polished the statue.

I settled on the sofa.

“Freddie,” I said. “I have a present for you.”

I held the statue in Freddie’s direction. He tipped his head curiously and approached, uttering a soft, “Heh.” as he does when he’s feeling gentle and intimate. What struck me first was that he wasn’t afraid of the statue in the least. He kept looking and looking. Tipping his head this way and that way. Then he craned his neck and reached toward the statue with his bill, touching it lightly on the arm, and then said, “Heh.” and touched the head and then the feet. After that, Freddie straightened up proudly as he always does and began prancing. (Did I mention we were listening to Queen the entire time? Freddie Goose loves Queen, of course. That goes without saying.)

This made me very happy. I wasn’t sure how he would react to the statue. Would he grab it and fling it like he does chunks of mud he excavates outside? Would he bite it to see if it was edible? <–I highly doubted this, because Freddie Goose is particular about his diet and smarter than that. He was not afraid. He even let me touch the feathers on his shoulder with the statue.

Now the ethereal Virgo in blue stands in front of a vase near the front window where Freddie passes by now and then during one of his performances.

Quoth the Freddies: Christmas and Gift-Giving

freddiegoosejustmeToday I asked Freddie what he thinks of November and he said he loves it because it’s close to Christmas, but he doesn’t like to be cold.

“O, I hate the cold. It is probably why I returned as a goose, darling. Now, I can never be cold. Just think of it–permanent goose down. And I’m lucky I’m not that kind of goose–a Christmas goose. Makes me shudder to think of it.” — Freddie Goose, November 1st, 2014.

Why do you love Christmas so much, Freddie?

“Why, I love giving little gifts, of course. Why else? You can’t have Christmas without gifts. Even when I was a human, that’s why I loved Christmas. They don’t have to be expensive gifts, darling. Doesn’t everyone like a thoughtful little gift?” — Freddie Goose, November 1st, 2014.

And Freddie Mercury the man, from FREDDIE MERCURY: HIS LIFE, IN HIS OWN WORDS:

“I’ll tell you a good example. The other day Mary gave me a wonderful present that I haven’t seen before. It’s something that nobody else would think of, and it might be totally useless for you, but it’s something from somebody who cares and that’s what matters. She gave me this little gift that she went out of her way to arrange. It was the newspaper of the day that I was born — so you can actually read about what was going on when you were born. It was The Times, September 5th, 1946. And she also got me 1846, which was wonderful. I thought that was a lovely little treat — just a little something. There’s reams and reams of paper and it was wonderful. She said, “This’ll keep you busy, dear. You can read it while you’re on the throne.” I like to read when I’m having a crap.”

During his life as a rock star, Freddie Mercury had a love for antiques, particularly Louis XIV furniture and Japanese art: vases, kimonos, lamps, paintings. In life Freddie was quoted saying:

“People are the main thing, but I have to be surrounded by something, even if it’s just object d’art. So, I collect a lot, and my whole house is filled with beautiful Japanese art and antiques. That’s also why I want lots of fish, lots of cats. I suppose it’s a sort of shy outlook.” From FREDDIE MERCURY: HIS LIFE, IN HIS OWN WORDS.

For this is something I can relate to since the day I can remember–some time in early childhood. Collecting and preserving was a hobby of mine since the start, yet I don’t care for senseless clutter, i.e. a mess. I want to look around the room and find the ambiance relaxes me. I want to feel satisfied by what my eyes take in. Only then can I truly feel content. If the room is a jumbled mess, if everything is dirty or there are piles of papers, clothing or things are not in place, it bothers me.

There are many collectors in my family. Rock collectors. Antique collectors. When I was little I collected Breyer horses and displayed them, spotless and proud, on a shelf that took up an entire wall in my room. When they couldn’t be displayed, my grandma helped me wrap them up and store them in boxes so they wouldn’t get broken. I still have them today, but I do not feel my home is big enough to display them properly as they would need a certain room buried somewhere in the house, a room with certain decor. As it is in my home, I feel it would be tacky to display them. With limited space, only certain items can be visible.

Imagine having 20 foot ceilings. The grandeur and elegance of the decor would have to be large to match such surroundings. I suppose for Freddie Goose the new Garden Lodge (temporary) has high ceilings given he’s only about two and half feet tall.

At one time Freddie Mercury said:

“There are times when I wake up in the morning and I think, “My God, I wish I wasn’t Freddie Mercury today!” I’m in the public eye whether I like it or not, but I don’t want everything I do to be made public. I’m a virgo, I’m like Greta Garbo, I want to be left alone. I am a bit reclusive but it’s not a calculated thing. I like to be alone and shut myself off with my friends, but I’d hate to be on a desert island. I would loathe that. I do like people around me but I like them in my environment. I’ve got all my friends that come to me and maybe it’s a very selfish thing to do, but it’s a wonderful treat for me.” — Freddie Mercury, from FREDDIE MERCURY: HIS LIFE, IN HIS OWN WORDS.

I admit to being the same way: I do like people around me, but I like them in my environment. Yes. I love to entertain people in my home. One of my favorite things to do. And I love to have fun–in my home. C’est vrai!

I also love “little something” gifts. The real treats. The special somethings someone who loves you might see and they know it’s “just right” and it’s really for you and you only. Those gifts are never forgotten. As the years go by, meaning is only added and you are reminded of so many wonderful times.

Are you preparing for Christmas? (Freddie says, I hope, darlings, you will skip on having goose.) Do you like to make gifts or do you lavish your loved ones in purchased finery? What has been the most perfect Christmas of your life so far?

Freddie wants to know.