Notes From A Gander On How To Have A Proper Tea

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Freddie says:

This is how you hold a teacup-

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 This is how you pour tea-

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  • These days you add milk to your tea and not the other way around. This way you control the color of the tea. You want your tea to look like tea, not milk. (Unless you use antique bone China, then pour the milk first.)
  • Always use milk, not cream.
  • Do not use lemon AND milk together. The milk will curdle.
  • Don’t teabag your tea. Let the tea bag rest and then take it out. No teabagging, as amusing as it may be.
  • Make sure the water went past the boiling point.
  • Tea bags without strings and staples and paper and doodads are preferable.
  • Never stick your pinkie finger out.
  • Never use the microwave.
  • Only hold the saucer under the tea while standing.
  • Don’t leave the tea bag or spoon in the teacup.
  • If using a teapot, take the teapot to the kettle and pour the hot water in and not the other way around.
  • Some say the teapot must be swished with boiling water to prepare it for the tea. Tea cannot be steeped properly in a cold pot.
  • A tea cozy keeps the teapot warm for a long time; they’re not just cute afterthoughts. (Someone please knit a tea cozy for me.)
  • Tea cups do not have to match.
  • When stirring tea, do so silently, without clanging the spoon on the edges of the cup.
  • A tea pot should have multiple holes in the spout, not just one.
  • Do not substitute Earl Grey for English Breakfast tea. Ha! Ha!
  • When removing the tea spoon, set it leaning on the saucer to the right of the tea cup.
  • If serving tea with scones, cut the scones in half. Dab bits of curd and jams onto your saucer with the serving spoon and then return the serving spoon to its proper place. Do not use the serving spoon for your personal spreads. Use your own spoon or spreading knife.
  • Take small bites. Tea is a time for conversation and relaxation. DON’T EAT LIKE YOU WERE CULTURED IN THE BLOODY USA.
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